EFFECTIVE NEGOTIATION: AN ABBREVIATED PROCESS FRAMEWORK

As an initial part of our coaching engagements with clients, we will do a baseline “audit” and observe as they conduct a live negotiation. During these sessions, we are often struck by the same thing which grates on our ears like a beautiful piece of opera sung atrociously off key; which assaults our senses mercilessly and turns the elegant waltz of effective negotiation into a grotesque and awkward stomp. I refer to excessive, relentless, redundant and aimless talking that so many negotiators seem to engage and even revel in.

Many negotiators perceive the negotiation process as being to persistently assert their demands, to declare their positions and to impose their proposals without any consideration of the other side’s concerns or needs whatsoever. They think that the more insistent they become, the better negotiators they are. They believe that the only way to “win” is to continuously and repetitively state and pitch their positions without allowing their opponent to get a word in edge-wise. Oddly, they don’t seem to realize that they are engaged in a terribly inefficient and unproductive process at best and a downright destructive one at worst.

Truly effective negotiators actually do remarkably little talking.They listen very carefully, ask purposeful questions and demonstrate immaculate understanding. They are composed, relaxed and almost conversational.